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I would drag out the ritual for hours: sometimes on the Internet, sometimes visiting adult video shops, sometimes engaging in phone sex.
Had I been thinking straight I would have understood that sex was not a “need” at all (at least, not in the proper sense). Knowing these simple truths—that sexual pleasure is a desire, not a need—then I am free to place it alongside other good desires and alongside God’s commands and see it for what it is.
It was I, not God, who had turned a normal sex drive into something “desperate.” It was I, not God, who had elevated sexual pleasure to a place it was never meant to occupy. I am free to repent of my warped and selfish version of sexual pleasure without fearing that I am denying or rejecting some essential part of me.
Only those who muster up enough faith can call on God to do a miracle, right? I was single at the time and had also bought into the lie that marriage and sexual intimacy were somehow basic rights that had been denied me.
But I was believing a lie about God: a lie that said God can only change the willing. I believed sex was not only a desperate biological need, I believed sexual pleasure was, in a way, the goal of life: a promised land I had yet to enter.
While fantasizing or watching pornography, porn stars were not the focus of my attention: I was.
The porn girls were more or less trophies of my fantasy: their “beauty,” their avidity, and their hysterically euphoric response to “me” was the whole point.Sex in marriage is something .” Marriage doesn’t cure a desire for porn because even in a sexually vibrant marriage, your wife is not forbidden. The sinful, coveting heart that I had before marriage is the same sinful, coveting heart I have in marriage.So long as I am vulnerable to coveting, I am vulnerable to lust. For me, porn fueled a life-long fantasy to be desirable, irresistible.I believed marriage would be the cure-all, my “in-house fix.” But the very nature of porn addiction exposes this lie, doesn’t it?Marriage is about intimacy with : it was never enough to lust after one woman.And then there are the free online dating services. Here are a few tips to pick the free online dating service that’s right!Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating