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But if I accomplish nothing else with this book (and believe me, I won’t) I want to at least debunk what I believe to be the biggest myth about cybersex: that it’s just a bunch of balding, fat men pretending to be lesbians chatting with other balding, fat men pretending to be lesbians. Now, I’m not saying you should believe everything someone tells you online, I’ll discuss in future chapters how to hone your bullshit-detection skills, but you should not immediately assume everyone you’re talking to is wearing their Star Trek uniforms while their mother calls to them through the locked basement door to wash up for dinner. Remember: everyone who owns a computer has had cybersex at least once. I can’t believe you fell for one of the oldest sales ploys in the publishing industry.I admit those losers are out there,* but it doesn’t begin to address the real issue: they’re not all balding. There really are women on the Internet, and they do engage in cybersex. Just think for a moment about all the people you know who recently brought home new computers. Throw the word “sex” in the title and you’ve got a million-seller on your hands!They are your wives, your girlfriends, your sisters, and your mothers. Stephen King’s been getting away with it for years!

The growth in steamy chat room conversations and cybersex also has triggered a rethinking of the meaning of infidelity.

If there is no physical contact or actual sex, is it still an affair?

It is a self-help book on self-abuse, I suppose you’d say (although I already said it first).

Most people today look down on those of us who engage in cybersexual practice. But it costs a goddamn fortune, and my wife is starting to take closer looks at our credit card billing statements.

The first question you’re going to ask me is: Why are you wasting your time writing a book about cybersex?

I promised myself I wouldn’t start crying, and now look at me...“I think there is this bias that women don’t cheat for sexual reasons at all,” Hertlein says.“Women are supposed to be the nurturers and the matriarchs in our society.” Due to the secretive nature of online affairs, reliable statistics are hard to find, but a 2005 study of 1,828 Web users in Sweden offers evidence about the prevalence of cybersex and online affairs. A 2008 Australian study offers more insight into Internet affairs. More than half of the respondents believed an online relationship constituted unfaithfulness, with the numbers climbing to 71 percent for cybersex and 82 percent for in-person meetings.You can pass whatever laws you want..can debate the moral decay of our society from any pulpit in the nation..sex is a more permanent part of the Internet than the Microsoft logo.The purpose of this instruction book is to teach you, the computer novice, some of the basics of engaging in the most popular form of sexual expression on the Internet, namely: “cybering” with fellow computer owners who have no idea what to do with their computer now that they’ve gone out and spent all that money on one.I’ve heard Al Gore took credit for it, but I’d sooner believe it was Larry Flynt.

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