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Because now you have to replace the white space with something, but you realize you no longer remember how to act normal — and you’re not even sure what normal is or ever was.
If there’s anything that will make you realize how toxic and unhealthy your previous situation was, it’s carrying all those learned habits into one that’s not.
This is what I said to the new guy I’m dating, after meeting his friends for the first time.
Your partner is kind at first and kind periodically throughout — they have to be, after all, or else you’d bail — and over time, you lose touch with what’s okay and what’s not. How much is enough, and how much is too much, to give?
This drifting feeling lingers even after you see the toxicity for what it is, because you still don’t remember how to act instead. You’re not certain of your judgment, and not entirely sure how to go about trusting people (after all, you trusted your ex and look where that got you), including yourself (because it was who trusted him.)You cut out everything you’re confident is toxic but still have to go on silencing whatever rushes into that void, because most of it isn’t right, either. I still reassure him that he makes me happy, and that seems to be working for starters.
See every date as an opportunity to meet someone new and go in with the aim of having a good time. Always assume the person you’re dating is dating other people Until you have that conversation, that’s usually just the way it is. So get busy re-training those social muscles so that when you’re out meeting hotties, you feel confident to actually speak to them. You’ll need to build up emotional resilience When you date a few people, it’s inevitable you’ll meet a few idiots along the way. Dating should be a fun enhancement to everything else going on in your world.
Know your own boundaries, stick to them and don’t get too emotionally involved too soon. But don’t become detached On the other side of the coin, you have to remain open minded and open hearted so that you can actually build connections with people. Wouldn’t the world be boring if every date we went on was amazing? Date different types of people What you thought was your ‘type’ might actually have changed.
These became learned lines I’m still finding scattered around my life.
I still thank the new guy for (“thanks for letting me finish.”) And I catch myself repeating it, like a tick, to be sure it’s heard.
What’s a normal amount to say “thank you;” what’s a sane compliment to give? You realize there’s not just an absence of bad energy, but suddenly this crazy wash of good. When you don’t have someone harping on you for happiness, and instead just letting you live your life, good feels just sort of cozy up in the warm hollows.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating