Dating an abstinent girl

The group, called The River, met once a week, where, sitting on couches, eating pizza or talking about video games, they’d eventually gravitate toward the topic that brought them all together in the first place: sex.On the surface, it would seem impossible for these men to participate in what sociologist Michael Kimmel calls “Guyland” – a developmental and social stage driven by a “guy code” that demands, among other things, sexual conquest and detached intimacy.They also emphasize, as I suggest above, that your messages contain valid information, delivered with clear expectations. Your responsibility is great, but so is your influence.

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My second daughter joined the conversation and thanked me for teaching her that sex is beautiful and it's to be enjoyed with one special person.

My third daughter chimed in and said that if she had only been told about disease and pregnancy, she may have thought I just didn't want her to have any fun.

When it comes to influencing teens, parents have an advantage over peers, schools, churches and even media.

Because parents are with their children year after year, they have a unique relationship that can help in discussing difficult topics.

There's a spot in my bedroom at the foot of the bed, which has always been a favorite place for my daughters to grab some talk time with their mom.

As they grew into preteens and teens, this time in my room often included conversations about sex.The following are a few suggestions for discussion with your teen: • Remaining a virgin until marriage is realistic, and it is the standard for our family. • Sex has a much deeper meaning than its mere physical act.• Sex is beautiful and it is to be shared with one special person within the marriage relationship. • Pregnancy is a big deal — it will change your life forever. Teachers, websites and books may assert that you can have sex without worry. • You must choose wisely to protect yourself and ensure your best chance of achieving your potential. • We are here to support you, so you don't have to make these choices alone. Having these discussions is a way to start helping your teen grow into a sexually healthy, mature adult.Parents also understand their adolescent's particular personality, and they're sensitive to their teen's level of maturity — socially, emotionally, physically and morally.This long-term, understanding relationship earns parents the right to communicate values to their teens.Research on this population tells us a few things: that those who pledge are more likely to be young women, and that – regardless of gender – an abstinence pledge delays the onset of sexual activity by only 18 months.

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