the death of dating badger herald - Dating website for chronic illness
My sister uses Ok Cupid so that men know she’s a 5’2 nudist with a penchant for folk songs.
Maybe you’ve got circles under your eyes so black you look like you just came from a football game–time to show your date just how sexy you can look in sunglasses. There are millions of things you can do for your partner–from helping them have better relationships with their family and friends, to teaching them about having career goals or handling money and investing, to being a solid parenting partner or emotional caregiver. You will probably end up puking in the back seat of his car.
You’re not the only one with problems, so start looking for places where you can apply yourself as the solution. Don’t pretend like you’re cool, and then turn around and dry heave into your handbag (I have mastered this by the way.) Don’t agree to go to a rock concert when you have a migraine and don’t agree to eat hibachi when you’re on an all-liquid diet. Better to out yourself and your condition early and avoid the consequences.
” So allow them the courtesy of saying it (to themselves) in the privacy of their own bedroom while staring at their laptop. Feel comforted in the fact that you can’t see their hands flittering over the keyboard trying to come up with a supportive/appropriate/charming response. If you haven’t come to terms with it yet and are still in a phase of mourning your old life–you probably aren’t ready to date anyway.
And let them have the ability to untangle this information before you sit down to your first date. You’ve got to love yourself–with or without the disease, if you’re going to expect someone new in your life to do the same. –but slamming your fist down on the table every time you decree a new amendment on how you will be treated as a partner is not going to win you any suitors. Remember that relationships are a two way street and you’ve got be willing to put out just as much as you need to take in.
You’re still going to be just about as self-conscious as any other person is on a first date, so remember to play up your best assets. They put up with it all and know they won’t ever get as much PHYSICAL effort in return.
Maybe you’ve packed on a few prednisone pounds–it’s a great time to pull out the tight skirts to show that you no longer have a white-girl butt. But that doesn’t mean you can’t put in effort elsewhere. These might not be the best first date activities for you if you have a chronic illness. You will probably end the night in excruciating pain.
If they don’t want to go out with you after learning you have Crohn’s, Lupus, whatever–then that’s that. You have to be understanding of people when it comes to your chronic disease.
Understand that their first reaction probably will be “what the fuck? People can sense your uneasiness about your disease.
Because if you think you won’t need to be brave after the first date: you’re wrong. From braving that first kiss to braving the first argument. Sometimes you’ll want to do something with your significant other and it just won’t work out because your body is fighting back. And even though on the surface it might mess with your emotions and make for a less-than-great day–it doesn’t have to make for a less-than-great relationships. ” I stopped, thought and responded something that I still stand by: You’re not just a person who is chronically ill.
So be brave and remember that you (hopefully) don’t live in Antartica where there are only five men and you have to share them with all the other women in the tribe. Sure, the first few times it’s okay to be frustrated–embarrassed even, to fumble over your apologies and stress out that they’ll be upset. You are a person, and you happen to also be chronically ill. You are so much more than an illness, and when you stop thinking of yourself in that box–others will too.
A young mother to a toddler and dating a musician in a heavy metal band, I didn’t even know someone my age could get arthritis, let alone what the disease was like to live with.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating