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My wife left me because she said I'm addicted to oxymorons. If I were a superhero, I'd want to be Aluminum Man. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions. Early one stormy morning, Ben Franklin was outside with a kite in one hand, and the string in the other.

He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, Seductive, and invincible. Deborah says: "Ben, what the heck are you doing out there in the rain? " Deborah says: "Have you thought about trying a little tail!

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A woman was sitting in a restaurant enjoying lunch with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered.

He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him.

SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles. The father asked one last question, 'What if your clothes get dirty? 'Then I'll come home and let mommy wash them.', was the reply. My husband demanded to know why he was causing our dog to bark at 3 am.

COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. The man smiled and exclaimed, 'This kid is not running away from home, he's going off to college! I won't subscribe to anything until I can manage what I already receive. "My mother-in-law is visiting," our embarrassed neighbor explained.

The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question.

His son translated for the NASA people: "What are these guys in the big suits doing?

" Ben says: "That's what I suggested this morning and you told me to go fly a kite!

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