Intimidating fight talk
Look at the other person as someone to figure out and understand rather than someone to challenge. This is a generalisation but I have come across many clients who seem intensely gruff on the outside but once you get to know them, you realise it’s all a ‘front’.Ask questions such as “and how is that going to work? They have, more often than not, adapted this behaviour to cover up their own insecurities.The former Olympic wrestler was in action earlier this month when he mauled Lew Polley at RFA 9.
We can all be regressed to feeling like that little kid again depending on how someone behaves with us. Intimidating people are often all bravado and have very little to back it up with.
Have you ever been around your parents or an adult that knew you as a child and suddenly realised that you have changed your behaviour? Acting sheepish and childlike amongst adults from our childhood is quite common. They are used to others being intimidated and accepting their behaviour.
Be careful with this though – I don’t mean you should put on a condescending voice and offer them a sweet!
What this technique does, is allow you to ‘frame’ the other person in a different light.
There is a very clever way to deal with this situation.
Every single one of us was a child once, fairly powerless and open to the rules, restrictions and attitudes of the ‘powerful’ adults around us.
As a Psychologist, I find it easy to look beyond the behaviour to the underlying reasons. Having said that, understanding the reasons doesn’t automatically make me like someone! When we come across an angry and unhappy person, many of us take this behaviour personally. I remember when I worked at Broadmoor Hospital, we would have supervision to help us cope with the various personalities we had to deal with.
The person who had come to talk to us explained that the aggressive and intimidating behaviour that we received most days from those held in Broadmoor was more about them than it was about us.
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