Not divorced but dating
They might fear rejection; they may not have thought through the consequences.But still, it’s misleading: “I knew that when I said “I’m divorced” he thought that it was official…
Juliet admits that living in “limbo land” can stop couples from moving on and can create false hopes of a relationship reconciliation.
Dating rules become unclear and long separations can make divorce – if and when it happens – much, much harder.
What happened was nearly 20 more years of some level of commitment from the woman’s husband. Start by realizing that just because dating can make a lot of sense to those who are divorcing, doesn’t mean it makes sense for you to date them.
Then: Dan, you don’t want to date the married, so don’t. Half the men who re-nup do so in about three years—leaving little time to bound at all once you factor in time to meet, court, and commit.
They might not think they owe loyalty to a feckless, faithless mate, or one who prolongs the proceedings.
And evolutionarily speaking, women might accurately feel they are running out of time; with every decade past men’s 20s, guys who can snag ever-younger partners do, leaving straight women of their own cohort short of available mates: “….[My now-ex] said I had no right to date because we were ‘still married’, ha!
That’s a long time to be legally married to someone that has clearly moved on (he moved in with his girlfriend after about a year).
“ Unsurprisingly, some folks are unwilling to extend their emotional exile.
Here’s a video from CBS in America on the undivorced, profiling a couple who separated – without lawyers or custody arrangements – and their kids who said they were thankful to their parents for for keeping their life “as normal as possible”.
Dear Duana, I’ve gotten involved with three women I met online in the last year, only to find they were all still married. It makes a lot of sense when you see it from their side.* People need love, or at least some contact.
Juliet wrote that although she and her husband had been “living separate lives for some time” they decided to stay married for the “sake of the kids”.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating