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D., an ob/gyn who practices at Southside OBGYN and Franciscan Alliance in Indianapolis, Indiana, tells SELF.Although telling someone you’re interested in can be intimidating, there are different ways to do it, and you might find one easier than the others.

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“I really wonder if it would have changed things to wait until we had connected more.”On the flip side, she’s also dated “quite a few guys who didn’t care at all” even though she told them ASAP.

Davis usually holds off on disclosing to potential sexual partners that she has herpes until she’s known them for a bit.

A new study lists Buffalo as the nation's most dangerous city for online dating. The study, conducted by security review company Safe Wise and High Speed Internet.com, ranked 56 U. cities based on two risk factors that researchers said were key to online dating safety: STD cases and violent crime rates, both adjusted for population.

Using these metrics, researchers produced safety scores for each city.

“I’ve always waited a little while before telling people, basically until I thought it was going somewhere,” Davis says.

“This isn’t everyone’s experience, but when I started dating with herpes, I found out none of my partners cared.”Although she sees that it’s intriguing to potentially avoid attachment—and thus heartbreak—by telling someone right out the gate, she makes an excellent point in favor of taking your time: “Nobody tells you all of the things about themselves that you usually don’t find out for a bit, like they have really bad credit or they’re a horrible cook, until you get to know each other.” Of course, it’s different with a health condition you can pass to someone else, but it’s worth noting.

In the past, Carlson would put the herpes conversation on the table quickly.

“I don’t like wasting my time or getting my heart broken, so I think it’s a self-defense thing to almost always tell the guy on the first date,” she explains.

That comes out to an overall rate of 710 cases per 100,000 people for the metro area.

When contacted by The Buffalo News, a spokeswoman for Safe Wise acknowledged there were "miscalculations" in the Buffalo STD rates.

“If they want to cut and run, I haven’t invested too much of myself in it.”But in the future, she thinks she’ll take her time disclosing as long as she gets it done before engaging in sexual activities that would put the other person at risk.

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