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I am overweight and bite my nails and my clothes are regularly covered in dog and cat hair. So why do you treat this guy in a way you’d never treat a friend?

Don’t get me wrong, I would totally support and love my friends but I expect respect and love in return.

I have always paid my half of meals, have let him off being months late with birthday presents, and in general feel like I am a pretty low maitenance girlfriend. In my head I know he loves me, yet I cant help the nights I spend crying cause it feels like he doesnt. I was married for 18 years to a guy who was romantic, I am currently dating a guy who is romantic. Here is where I think the problem lies – you are treating the guy like a spoiled, helpless child instead of a man and equal partner.

This should be a relief to you since it means that you could have a tremendous positive impact on your relationship just with one night of making your guy feel amazing instead of spending countless hours doing “little things”.

Here’s the problem: In the same way that women will do “little things” for guys and then be confused and frustrated when the guy isn’t smitten by all the little things she’s done for him (in the way a woman would be), guys think that one grand gesture will make up for months of neglecting “little things”. I’ve had plenty of times where I’ve let work and life in general consume all my time and attention and neglect my relationship.

The only reason why I fuss is because he promises me that he’ll change and he’ll be better and nicer but he’ll only tell me that over the phone. Ive tried making plans, but its hard to go through with them with his blatant disinterest. HOWEVER, I do have an idea of why I get romance and you don’t…

Literally the only reason why I fuss is because he never listens/ keeps his promises. This valentines day I tried to really put it forward, that i wanted to go out for dinner, that i was baking him a blackforest cake, and would appreciate something of equal effort in turn. And now just finishing cleaning up all the dishes from baking said cake. At this point I would fall to my knees weeping in happiness over just a card made out of scrap paper. First off, there is a difference between being low maintenance in a good sense (low drama and attitude) vs in a bad sense (doing all the work to make the relationship happen).

He says that all he wants to do is make me happy, so I don’t understand why he doesn’t even make the effort to do the things he knows I like! I want to tell him this bothers me, but I don’t want him to do it just because I “asked him to,” basically ruining it.

This is something that I hear all the time from women in their relationships.

If the man doesn’t treat me at least as well as a friend treats me, he is dumped.

Second, I respect myself – I don’t cancel stuff with friends just because he wants to see me.

If a friend treats me badly, I don’t have a huge temper tantrum or try to guilt them, I just assume they are not a good fit and I move on.

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